Q: Helen, you’ve been hosting international students with London Homestays for around 20 years now. Does saying goodbye get any easier?
Honestly? It depends on the student. Most goodbyes are genuinely emotional because you’ve shared your home and built a real connection. But I’ll be frank – not every student becomes your best friend and that’s okay. Some students prefer to keep to themselves, which is perfectly fine too. You learn not to force relationships. Some students you click with and others you don’t. You kind of get along fine but when they leave, they leave.
When I first started hosting in 2002, I used to get terribly emotional about every departure. Now I’ve learnt to take my cues from the students – some want a proper send-off, others just want to pack and go quietly. It’s about respecting what works for them.
Q: Tell us about some of your long-term connections.
Ana from Spain! She was here in 2014 studying English before university. She was one of those students who just clicked with our family immediately. She still sends us Christmas cards every year and actually invited us to her wedding in 2020. Sadly, COVID meant we couldn’t attend, which was disappointing. She’s got two little ones of her own now, which is rather surreal – the last time I saw her in person, she was this teenager and pretty much a child herself! We keep in touch through Facebook, and it’s lovely seeing her life unfold. Via social media I now have a large number of former students I keep in touch with or at least see their photos.
Q: How do you handle the practical side of farewells?
Experience has taught me that a proper check-out is essential, regardless of how close you’ve become. I have a straightforward system now – the night before departure, we go through a checklist: house keys (you’d be surprised how many almost end up overseas!), any belongings left in drawers, and contact details if they want to stay in touch. It saves a lot of hassle later as students tend to leave things to the last minute and then leave in a hurry when a taxi shows up to take them to the airport.
Q: What about those final few days?
It varies enormously depending on the length of stay and the student’s situation. For three-week language students, it’s usually quite straightforward. But with semester-long stays or internship students, we typically have a nice dinner the night before – nothing over the top, just a proper meal together and chat about their stay.
I’ve noticed interesting cultural differences too. European students tend to be very organised about departures – my German students often pack days in advance. Brazilian and Spanish students usually want to organise some sort of gathering with friends. My Chinese and Japanese students are often incredibly generous with thank-you gifts, though I always tell them it’s not necessary.
Q: Any particularly memorable goodbyes?
Last year, we had a language student from Brazil who’d been here for three months. On her final evening, she showed us a video of her first day of class compared to her last – the improvement in her English was remarkable. It made all the day-to-day efforts worthwhile.
I also remember a Korean student who was here for a semester at university. He was incredibly quiet but worked so hard. Six months after he left, he emailed to say that living with an English-speaking family had helped him secure his dream job with a Korean airline. Those moments are really special and make hosting worthwhile.
Mind you, not every goodbye goes smoothly. I’ve had students forget passports, deal with last-minute lost keys and numerous situations with overweight cases as students have gone a bit overboard with the shopping in London.
Q: What about maintaining contact after they leave?
Social media makes it easy, though I’ll admit I’m more active with some former students than others. Ana’s wedding invitation wasn’t a complete surprise because we’d stayed in regular contact. I had no clue about social media before but my daughter made some accounts for me and now I am on Instagram as well as Facebook.
I’ve actually got a separate Instagram account just for hosting now – it helps maintain some boundaries. Students can follow my hosting life without seeing my holiday photos!
Q: Top tips for that final farewell?
First, be organised. Do a proper check-out – it saves headaches later. Make sure you have your key back, they have all their washing etc and they know how they’re getting to the airport or train station. Keep their home country emergency contact details until you know they’re safely back or that you have their WhatsApp.
But most importantly, be genuine. If you’ve had a great time hosting them, tell them! If it’s been more professional than personal, a simple warm goodbye is perfectly fine. Not every student becomes family, but every student should leave feeling they had a safe, comfortable place to stay while studying.
